I walked into a joke shop and asked “do you guys sell jokes?”

I'm never doing that again. I'm going back to whipped cream.

You tep on the brake.

They had been spent 24 hours straight on this until they got too tired and decided to call it a day

So I chose "Snow White and the 7 Dwarves".

Little Johnny is out in the yard with his dad one day and he sees Dad light a cigarette. After watching him for a few seconds, Johnny asks, "Daddy, can I have a puff of your cigarette?" Dad looks at him and says, "Does your dick touch your asshole?" "No, sir." Johnny answered. Dad says, "Then no, you can't have a draw off my cigarette." A short while later, Dad pops open a can of beer. Johnny again watches him for a few seconds then asks Dad, "It sure is hot out here. Can I have a drink of that cold beer?" Dad repeats the question, "Does your dick touch your asshole?" Johnny sheepishly replies, "No, sir." "Well when it does, I'll give you a beer." Soon after, Johnny pulls some candy out of his pocket and starts eating it. Dad says, "Give me a piece of that candy, Johnny." Johnny, seeing his opportunity, asks hid dad, "Well, Daddy, does your dick touch your asshole?" Dad looks at him with a smile and says, "As a matter of fact, son, yes, it does!" Johnny smiles back and tells him, "Good, you can go fuck yourself!"

Paddy O’Reilly is driving down a country road when he happens upon youn Kevin, slowly shuffling alongside the road, with his head down. “And why is that you walking alone, all consumed in thought, Young Kevin?” “My mom died, yesterday”, Kevin explains. “I see. That’s tragic. Should I ask Father O’Malley to come over to comfort ye?” “No thanks, Mr O’Reilly. Sex is the last thing on my mind right now”?

That they were there to slow geese down!

They were too big for the British to take.

2:30

One asks: Do you like jokes about planes? The other one replies: No, because they never land.